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Whew... it was hard for me to learn this.
I didn't always understand when people said, "I learned it the hard way," but now I understand what they mean.
It took me a lot to learn this.
By nature, I'm a person who feels bad about saying no to others.
I mean, if I can say yes, why would I say no?
Why would I create that limitation?
On one hand, it makes sense, but on the other hand, it's sad that people have no limits.
What I mean is that every time you say yes, that person will automatically assume that the next thing they ask of you will also be a yes.
As you get to know each other, they'll see that the pattern of saying "yes" is consistent, so it becomes a habit.
So, should I say no?
Not really. You can say yes.
But add some comments.
"Yes, but only this time."
"Yes, but with these conditions."
For example.
Or you can simply say yes, but the next time you can say something like:
"I can't."
"I already did you a favor."
"I won't accept it twice."
You can accept things as many times as you want, but the other person needs to understand that you're not easily manipulated and that you know how to set boundaries.
This happens all the time with clients. We need to show our limits to our clients.
It's the best way to respect my time and theirs.
Don't confuse being clear, with being rude.
Until next time,
Cheers, Jordi Espinosa.